I didn’t know anything was bothering me today. I was snippy with my partner this evening, and he noticed, and asked if there was anything I needed to talk about. I didn’t think there was. But I took advantage of the opportunity and started blabbing whatever came to mind anyways. Something about feeling scared, anxious, and lost. He listened, and one of the only things he said was “People, we need people.” I shrugged it off, got pissy again, and walked away.
Then it dawned on me- I had not talked to any humans today, or left the house.
This is not an unusual thing for me. I am home sick and alone often.
But what my partner said to me just sunk in and a light bulb went off.
I had a few “good days” physically and otherwise for the past few days- got out of the house each day, got to see friends and family, and wasn’t alone at home all day. And those were consequently mentally and emotionally better days for me too.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I remembered that I DO need people. Not just need them physically for help, (which I do also) but need them to be balanced emotionally and mentally, which for me, can be even more important than how I am doing physically.
Talking to my partner when he asked if I needed to talk? That changed my whole attitude afterwards, pretty quickly too. I no longer felt useless or so lost, and all I had done was just share from the heart for ten minutes or so.
Final thought: If you’re feeling crazy, please call a friend, and no, you’re not being a burden. Don’t listen to all the crazy things your mind tells you. It’s just the fear talking. Better yet, try to make human contact daily. That’s how I keep the crazies at bay.
Having a chronic illness can mean we’re not always able to get out and be around people, or even talk to people, but dammit we can try. Or if we have five “good” minutes in one day, we can use that to call a friend. Just talking to a friend, and hearing their voice even for a little bit, can really help our mental and emotional states. I know there are scientific articles out there that prove this, but I prove it to my self time and time again.
So what are you waiting for? Go call a friend!
Jessie D. DDA